"It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities."
AzNsErPeNt03
read my profile
sign my guestbook

Visit AzNsErPeNt03's Xanga Site!

Interests: I am a Chinese girl from picturesque San Francisco. I suspect I have a latent inferiority complex, but I may be mistaken. Anyway I am a senior at lovely Lowell High School, a fine academic institution, to which I contribute absolutely nothing, except another number to the already thriving Asian population. I was born on March 29, 1989, which accounts for seventeen years of utterly meaningless and purposeless existence. I like to fancy myself many things, particularly a cynical idealist, but I am probably just an extravagantly pretentious, pseudo-intellectual fool with delusions of grandeur. In my spare time, I like to incinerate things with Zippo lighters, attempt intellectual thought, discover different forms of procrastination, contemplate the pointlessness of my existence, surreptitiously drink any alcohol I can acquire, mock and ridicule people and events out of pure usually unprovoked malice, and generally spread the ill will.


Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM: AzNsErPeNt03


Member Since: 1/2/2003

SubscriptionsSites I Read

Blogrings
* [ ! N o r C a L / B a y A r e A ! ] *
previous - random - next

**aBc** ( American Born Chinese) =O
previous - random - next

>> Lowell HS: c/o '07 <<
previous - random - next

!!!!FiShiE-ScOutS!!!!
previous - random - next

AP - Advanced Procrastination
previous - random - next

Lowell High School's Academic Decathlon
previous - random - next

United States Academic Decathlon
previous - random - next

XANGA LOWELL HS
previous - random - next


Posting Calendar

|<< oldest | newest >>|
view all weblog archives

Get Involved!

Suggest a link

Recommend to friend

Create a site

Sunday, September 23, 2007

You will never find time for anything. If you want time, you must make it.


Sunday, April 29, 2007

I always mean to write, but I never do, and then it's too late.


Tuesday, January 02, 2007

I've had this xanga for four years today.


Sunday, November 26, 2006

The worst thing you can do is not try.

It is amazing that I've had five days off from school, and as usual I've done nothing until today, the last day. Well, at least I started working earlier (at about 4:00) than I would usually (at about 10:00). I've done no homework except read a little bit of Hamlet, which is kind of pointless since I could've Sparknoted it. I was planning on learning physics, but so much for that... Actually I was hoping to do a lot of catching up in all my classes.

I only did one productive thing and that was doing my UC app. I finally got around to writing my personal statements for the UCs today, and they suck. A lot. And two of them are too long by an excess of 100 words. But that's what happens when I try to write about my nonexistent life. What is there meaningful to say? My life is uninteresting. I am not very interesting. I'm far too self-absorbed for that.

I still haven't figured what private schools I'm applying to. I want to apply to schools that I want to go to--and have a chance of getting in. Yeah, take a risk, but I'd like to be realistic... And applying to more schools means writing more essays, which is no fun and almost worse than having to ask teachers to write recommendations. I hate asking for help from other people. I'm the type of person who'd rather not know than ask for help most of the time. How inhibitive to progress.

Thanksgiving break was enjoyable anyway. I got lots of sleep, and this year, the turkey wasn't all dried out thanks to an oven bag. I don't really like how turkey tastes though. Deli sliced turkey doesn't taste like a home made roasted turkey at all. How odd. Also, I saw The Incredibles on Thanksgiving. I thought it was amazing. Incredible animation and a good story too. I liked the contrast of the mundane and the fantastic. Why is mediocrity championed and genuine exceptionality discouraged? Anyway Pixar is great. If I ever wanted to be in the artistic profession, I'd want to be an animator and perhaps a graphic novel artist. Oh, Cars is a great movie too. I want the DVD that just came out.

Speaking of DVDs, I wish I went shopping on Black Friday. I've never been shopping on Black Friday at 3:00 in the morning. I'm missing out on the true American Thanksgiving experience. Forget turkey and cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie, I want to get stampeded while trying to grab as many $2.99 USB drives as I can. I wish I went to Circuit City and got some $2.99 USB drives, but I heard they sold out within 15 minutes. American consumerism is amazing! Well, I didn't get nothing out of after Thanksgiving sales; yesterday I went to Target and got a couple of movies that were on sale, Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, When a Stranger Calls, The 40-Year-Old Virgin, and Spiderman 2. I would've gotten a couple more movies if they weren't in fullscreen format. I despise fullscreen, and those movies were the only ones left that were in widescreen. I'm sad that I wasn't able to get more... There's always next year....

Also, on the topic of shopping, my parents made quite a big purchase on Friday. A couple of weeks ago, while we were all sleeping, some drunk driver randomly crashed into and totalled my mom's '95 Camry. It's ironic because the crash took place around 1:15 and I usually stay up to at least 2:00, but that night I decided to go to sleep early so I missed witnessing the fateful crash. So I thought it was hilarious because apparently the drunk driver couldn't move his car after ramming it into my mom's and had to run away on foot. It was pretty funny except for the fact that my mom had no car to drive. Anyway, on Friday my parents went out and bought one of the last remaining champagne colored 2006 Nissan Altimas. I guess they got it because it was cheaper than getting a Camry or Accord. And I guess I'll be driving it sometime soon, if I ever get around to learning to drive. I should've learned to drive a long time ago. I'm so lazy that even my parents are getting on my case for not learning to drive yet...

Anyway, Thanksgiving break has been pretty great until today. Now that I've gotten to working, I'm pretty much done with my UC app except for editing my statements. Now I just have to figure out what private schools to apply to so I can give my teachers recommendation forms tomorrow and finish my homework. So much for sleep.


Monday, November 20, 2006

All men are created equal, except in birth, intelligence, and beauty.

You’re either stupid, or you’re smart. It doesn’t matter where you go to school. Public or private school, it won’t alter how intrinsically intelligent you are. (Incidentally, I tend to think I fall on the stupid end of the spectrum. Also, doesn’t this sound like a desperate excuse/explanation for not getting into an esteemed institution of higher education?)

You see, there was this belief, or more aptly, erroneous opinion, I used to hold when I was young and naïve. When I went to private school, namely West Portal Lutheran, I thought that I was somehow inherently better or smarter than kids who went to public school. There’s a fallacy, if there ever was one, believing that going to private school makes me better than people who didn’t. How mistaken I was because when I got to Lowell, I found that my West Portal Lutheran education didn’t give me any advantage over kids who matriculated through the public school system (and two years of German instruction doesn’t count as an advantage). Some of smartest people I have the pleasure to know now at Lowell went to public school, and some of the dumbest come from private school. The opposite is true as well: some of the dumbest people I know went to public school, and some of smartest went to private school. So in reality where you go to school means little, if you’re not already innately mentally endowed.

Having said that, where you go to school does matter and is, in fact, a matter of extreme importance. Now, I know that sounds like a complete contradiction of what I just wrote, but I assure you, it is not. While what school you attend may not be particularly important in terms of what you’re taught at that school or what you learn there (since it won’t give you any more intelligence than what you started out with), it is nonetheless most crucial in affecting your future life. In terms of the connections you forge, the relationships you cultivate, the people you encounter, the instructors you study under, the environment you’re in, the opportunities you’re offered, the school you matriculate is of the utmost importance. And due to its environment and social offerings, school shapes your personality to a certain degree as well, or what part of your personality that isn't already innately predetermined. (I’m sure I would be a completely different person than the person I am today if I had not attended Lowell for the past three years. Had I gone to any school other than Lowell, I’d probably be less bitter, disillusioned, and “pessimistic”, and I might possess a great deal more confidence in my abilities. But I don’t think I would be content going to any other school, public school at least, knowing that I did not attend the “best” one, whatever that means.) From grade school to post-graduate studies, the school you attend will affect who you are and more importantly who you know. Going to a well-regarded private school will not only almost automatically boost your reputation and public regard, it will also ensure you will mingle with the socially and economically elite, which is not something to be taken lightly since these connections may well benefit you for the rest of your life.

In the end, it matters little where you go to school in regards to intellectual ability or education received. (You can learn the same material whether you go to a state school or an Ivy league school, though that might be a little bit of a stretch. In theory you should be able to obtain the same education wherever you go, or am I mistaken? Regardless, it is quite ironic that I tend to look back and believe that I may have gotten an inferior education at West Portal Lutheran, if only slightly, than I would have gotten at any other public school.) However, in terms of your personality, relationships, reputation, and other malleable factors, the school you attend is of great significance, particularly since personality and moreover, relationships, are ultimately what life is all about. All the academia, scholarship, erudition, and pedantic knowledge in the world is useless, if you have no connections with which to impart your knowledge, with which to garner influence, with which to make a difference.

The (rather oblique) point I’m trying to make, besides the one about inherent intelligence and school, is that ultimately at the end of the day what you do with your resources holds a great deal more weight than what you are capable of doing, no matter how smart and intelligent you may be. As J.K. Rowling says, "It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities."

Well, I’m sure wasting my time, ranting about all this, when I should be crafting impeccable personal statements to ensure I earn myself a spot in some “good” college so I can become an influential, self-important member of society.

Further reading:
Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.’s short story "Harrison Bergeron"
All Men are NOT Created Equal (which includes “Harrison Bergeron”)
A Post of Mine from April 11, 2006 (The only relevant part is when I talk about recruitment, public school vs private school, etc)



Next 5 >>